YES!!!

Actually, I'm not as excited as the title shows. I only took the title due to the Year End Sale (YES) that is happening all over Malaysia right now (lol). In about four and a half hours from now, we will step into a whole new year with hopefully a whole new chances for us all to improve ourselves academically, physically or even spiritually. All these elements will promise us a shining future only if we strive to maximise their potential.

Well, I'm not here to talk (again) about the importance of coordination in our lives but mostly about our pasts. 2010 will leave us but there're 1001 stories marked in it. From the first second of 2010 till now, there're thousands of experiences; happy or sad, good or bad, on friendship, on love life, on family trouble or even our inner self dilemma; have put a significant role in creating at least an ounce of what we're today. Experience is a very big word in a human life.

Sometimes we matured from those incidents, sometimes we learnt something from them but sometimes we're so ignorant of what happened around us that at one point, when the same thing repeats itself on us, we chose to blame the fate and time. Is it fair for us to put the blame (literally) on others? "Life s***s!" "Life is unfair!" "I'm ****ing tired of life!" Is this our attitude after winning the ultimate race of living in our mother's womb. How ungrateful we are!

I think enough with the serious talk. This year I've learnt about love; loving others as well as loving myself and learning on how to let our beloved go. It is painful but I believe that if we love someone, we would surely want that person to be happy although it means we're back in the market (so to speak). Is it wrong to love? I've learnt from someone near the end of this year that love does not mean that we should be with the person forever. There're a lot of obstacles in love and at my current stage (a student), it is better for me to create a spider web of friends first.

As what the ancestors say, "Keep thousands of friends but love only one." It is true that love phase is mind blowing, amazing, breathtakingly beautiful and so many other metaphor and romantic description that was used to explain the feelings and emotion turmoil of the lovers. But, friendship is what remain till the end of our lives. It is our friend that will pray for us on our death bed and they're also the one who guide us and make us whoever we are in the future.

I've also learnt about the importance of time. The death of two people in my friends cycle really opened up my eyes that we will never live forever. We will never have a happy day forever and we will never be with a person forever and ever as we're mortal and we're bound to meet the Creator.

I'm shivering when I'm writing this as we will never know when it is our turn to meet Him. It is kind of creepy but at the same time, it makes me realise that I should make the best out of every second that in ticking in my life. Not one second wasted as each and every second is so precious as long as we breath. Farewell 2010 and welcome 2011.

I'll leave this year with a section of my poem;

"Life is cruel, life is unfair,

Life is hurtful and full of despair,

But life is also shimmering like Eden's flair,

As long as we're thankful for each intake of air"

Time Flies

Holidays are coming to an end (where did the time goes). There's almost nothing productive happened in this past one month. How time is easily wasted without we even realise it. Less than two weeks time, I'll arrive back at my sanctuary named Lembah Beringin, Selangor. It's time for me to focus again and this time for the better.

Once again, I've become a so-called tourist guide to my friend from Selangor. He wanted to explore the World Heritage City of Melaka. So, the best way is to find him a cheap budget hotel which is also only in walking distance to all the main historical sites around Melaka. It is a relatively new hotel which was opened on 15th December 2010 with the name Travellers Planet.

It sure is a great experience for him and also for me as I finally know how to go to a certain destinations in Melaka from a different starting point (I'm not very good with the road in Melaka, lol). We also managed to ate one of the best 'Asam Pedas' in Melaka with a very reasonable price. However, we failed to go to any 'Medan Ikan Bakar' in Melaka as we don't have enough time and also due to the traffic jam caused by the national Christmas celebration at the Portuguese Settlement.

All in all, it is a great weekend for me as I've also learnt that GPRS is a very useful technology especially for a traveller and also for those who finally have the urge to explore their own home town (lol).

Last but not least, the holiday season is coming to an end which also means a whole new year will starts and bring 1001 experiences to us. Hopefully, this coming year will bring us all a great opportunity to improve ourselves  mentally, physically and spiritually to help us in achieving any goal that we have set before. It is a continuous race in life to achieve anything that we want. Don't give up and the success might be ours.

As the saying goes,

"All talk and no actions make Jack a dull boy."

Permata Seni

Hello.

Did you guys watch TV2 just now. The young generation of Malaysia is so talented! It is a shame that this 'Permata Seni' program does not exist when I'm still in the age group (8-15 years old). LOL. I so wanted to perform at Istana Budaya, perhaps in the dance group. It is nice to know that there are still movements, clubs or even societies that have the initiative to preserve the culture of Malaysians. Nowadays, rap and hip hop have bombastically invaded our nation. As a cultural person, I'm so proud of the 'Permata Seni' group as it is the living proof that our own traditional culture will not be washed out by the flow of time.

Today, I've check my email and FINALLY Heriot-Watt gave me the conditional offer for the second year entry with AAB requirement. I'm so happy! The one university that I wanted to go the most finally reply my application with a good news. Right now, there's only one thing that I need to focus on which is homework. I originally found homeworks so tedious but I have come to my senses where homework actually is another form of revision that I have always use in the past years and right until now I have neglected the fact that knowledge is the key to success.

As my college song sounds;

"Knowledge is the key to freedom,

Study is the road to truth"

p/s: If there's any mistake on that please tell me.

So, Heriot-Watt here I come.

Last but not least;

"Someone who forget history are bound to repeat them"

- George Santayana

holiday season

Well, well, well. We're currently in the holiday season till 10th January next year. I have come this far, a year and a half in KYUEM. There's only 6 months left for me to prove that I worth the Scholarship given to me. It shouldn't be hard because I only need to study and make sure that I get a good result in all my exams. As a student, that is what expected from me.

Expectations, there are so hard to be fulfilled. But, there are not impossible. All that left is our own will whether to succeed of failed. Our ambition (supposedly we  have one) should be the one that drive us to a better future. But the problem that always occur in our lives is that we don't have a definite figure of our own ambition or even worse, we don't even have an ambition. Something that has been a plague among our young generation.

It sounds serious, but this is the fact that we should embrace in our lives. 

Last but not least, our future is not solely for us but it affects other people around us directly or indirectly. We live in a world filled or human beings that one way or another depend on each other to lead a happy life. Don't ever give up as that's the coward way of running away from reality and responsibilities.

"We may be someone to the world, but we may also be the world to someone"

Power

Throughout this whole month, the main thing that was discussed in my English Literature class is power struggle and what makes a person the rightful ruler. William Shakespeare has brilliantly penned a romance play (also known as Shakespeare's last play) entitled 'The Tempest' mainly discussing the reason why a person is the rightful ruler, the rightful master and even the rightful father. Although it sets somewhere on a magical Island, Shakespeare clearly shows human's greed of power to the extent that it might lead to total damage.

Whether we realise it or not, this is the reality of our world. People are fighting to gain the upper hand in every situation. Trades, politics, business, throne, marriage or even in offices.

"Power corrupt, absolute power corrupt absolutely."

One of the main questions that need an answer is what is defined by power? Is it when we have even only a subject, we are already powerful? Or does it lies on how we manage our responsibilities and duties? Or is it the way how we make others believe that we are more powerful than them, maliciously or not? These are the recurring statements that are too subjective to be answered.

Some may gain power by exploiting other's trust, some may gain power by betraying the supposed-to-be leaders and some may gain power through lineage which sometimes neglecting the person's ability to rule  a society. In our modern world, this could be seen clearly through all the wars and exploitations that somehow being blessed by the modern society.

Is this right? Do we actually have the right to exploit others? And most importantly, do we become a leader or a ruler just because of the title and the luxury or due to our own realisation that somebody needs to lead the society to their maximum potential while maintaining the culture and heritage. It is useless to create a new person that forgot about his own roots (well, that is my cultural side speaking).

Last but not least,

"Great power comes with great responsibilities."

bored to death

As usual, KY is as vacant as Mars (don't know where I get that simile) or at least that's what I thought (as I don't go out from my room). I don't feel well this entire weekend. My weekend starts with my swollen joint which causing me a hard time to walk. Maybe it's time for me to watch whatever I ate again (I  have a history with gout). I've stop taking any medicine about one year ago hoping that it will not repeat itself. Well, let's time decides.

Yearbook! We need to finish the designs by tomorrow. I feel guilty to all my colleagues as I don't have the flair in Adobe Photoshop which put a huge burden on my friend's shoulders. I can sketch an art on a piece of paper and that's the extent of my drawing abilities. No one, and I mean it, no one wants to be the head of graphics department. What with AS and A2 exams next year.

Again, I've wasted most of my times watching movies. I've finished the Step Up trilogy, Letters To Juliet and a few others. All in all, I've watch about 7 movies this entire weekend. What an achievement! (lol) Kent has offered me a place in their university given that I achieve 340 points in my A-Level exams. It is not impossible but I need to push myself to reach the best result while at the same time pass the sponsor's requirement. I need to see Mr. Azman, the Deputy Headmaster on 23rd November due to my last result.

*Sigh. Life is hard, but if it's not hard it's not life. Challenges are troublesome but they make us grow. Advices are annoying but they might be useful.

Don't throw away others opinions but keep it as our guidance. They might be wrong but it doesn't hurt to prepare ourselves for any possibilities.

Life is short, make full use of it.

With love, Who Am I.

no more

I lost myself long ago

Before I even knew how to react

I lost myself long ago

Before I even know what love is

I lost myself long ago

Before I even know why I live

I wish I will stay lost to this world

As that is the only thing that will keep me sit

Lost in my fantasy

Where anything is possible

Lost in my nights

Where gloom are so comforting

Lost in the reds

Where my last suffering ends

Lost in myself

Where nothing matters anymore

No more questions

No more shouts

No more laughs

No more tears

No more air

No more me...

Results...

Yes, I wrote there results which means there are more than one result that came out on the same day, last Friday. First of all, I've finished my ELIT exam. Yahoo!! One of the heavy burdens have been lifted off my shoulder. Well, my exam starts at 8.30 am and finish at 10.30 am. About the same time, 9.00 am onwards to be exact, the IELTS result have come out which can be checked through the internet.

Right after my ELIT exam, Rina and I went to the IT Center to check our results. Overall Band = 8. I'm shocked and ecstatic at my result. I've never got an overall band 8 throughout my study here in KY. What's more unbelievable is I got a 9 for my listening component. Well, never saw that coming. With an 8 for reading and 7 for both speaking and writing, I think I have done my very best.

In the afternoon, Mr. Alderson hand us back our test result for Further Maths. I'm quite happy with myself as I managed to score a B although I believe I could do better than that. Nevertheless, that was still a big achievement for me and to make it better, I still need to do revision starting now.

Talking about now, KY is still in its serene atmosphere as most of the studentS haven't come back from their holidays yet. The upside part is the internet connection is much faster as compared to weekdays. Still downloading movies right now (lol). I think that's all to be shared for now. I still have a speech to memorize (Ariel the Harpy's speech from The Tempest) plus an essay on Caliban for my ELIT class.

Last but not least;

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."

It's all about how we use the greatness.

the end

Live is not forever, thus we must make the best out of it each second we breath. My friend Syazwan breath his last air last Thursday at 4.00 pm. I still remembered, at that particular time my tutorial group held our meeting at the cafeteria. It was filled with joy. We never realised that our beloved friend will left us forever. I've lost a very good listener, a great joker, an outstanding vocalist, an optimistic leader and last but not least a loyal friend.

Our time will come but we will never know it. One minute we will laugh and another minute we might lie on a hospital bed. It is unpredictable and inevitable. Make the best of our life.

Got to prepare for my last paper on Friday. Drama paper is always the hardest. And another test on Further Maths tomorrow! I'm hanged!

again

AGAIN

Enemy, foil,

Did it bring any good to us?

Friends,

Can they harmed us

Confidant,

Will they be loyal or betrayed us

All these questions need only one answer

Faith

But why am I asking this

Have I lost faith?

Or is it only a question of being paranoid

Well, even I cannot answer that

I deem an explanation

That will convince me

Once and for all

There’s only one thing to be shared

Again. Love.

Can the North Pole and South Pole met?

Let us use a simpler word

Can two enemies fall in love?

Well, it is true

But there are too many fences

Need to be broken

Too many seas to be swam

Too many mountains to be climbed

Too many bushes to be cleared

Too many lives to be sacrificed

It is devastating to see a pair of lovers

Lie on a matted snow

Lifeless. Embracing one another

Till the last drop of blood

Spilled by the samurai knife

All because

They are from two different ideologies

From two different worlds

From two different poles

Which will never united

Another Romeo and Juliet

Surrender to death in the name of love

A vital forfeit

For the sake of The World.

“Life is life, Dreams are dreams,

Ask the wind where they bloom.

Spirit is spirit, Flowers are flowers,

Ask the wind where they scatter.”

My Red Rose

The stuck petals blazed my soul,

ignite my passion; expel the loneliness

that haunt my nights for a few years now.

The soothing scent glides through the air

Suffocating my breath, pumping the liquid swiftly

Heating up my dull day.

Though the thorns cut through my flesh, I still

and will always hold thee- as thou

clasp my heart around thy rich bosom.

            No more hidden tears,

            No more concealed faith,

As you have unlocked those miseries…

Forever. I’ll cling to the words that

Swirl out of our lips, promising ourselves:

      ‘You are my red rose, and you will
       always be.’

this week (25-30/11/10)

Woosh... The week has finally over. This has been a very intellectual and happy week. It starts with the recent win on house competition, continued with the Heriot-Watt conditional offer and last but not least, the very satisfying IELTS exam. I'm quite proud with myself and I think, I'm on the right track to pursue my target, A*AAA in the A-Level exam next June.

BTW, I will have a quite calm next week followed by another examination week. I'll be prepared to face it. Another thing is, I really wish that I can start playing volleyball as usual as I really miss it. Perhaps, this afternoon I'll try to convince my friends (seniors and juniors) to go to the court and play the game (really need to go out of chalet and moves my muscle a bit - lol).

Before I sign out, love yourself before you love others, but put the love to God on top of everything else.

English Literature, I'll ace it!

at last

I have finished my IELTS speaking exam today. 'Advertisement'. That's my topic and I'm thankful for that because Ms Madeline has made us discuss the topic in our previous class. Thank you Farha, I still remember your 'Oligo Coco' presentation and it really helps in describing the advertisement.

Next stop is tomorrow's remaining papers and not forgetting my 10/11 and 12/11 English Literature papers. I really hope that I can get a very good results on those papers. Best of luck to me.

IELTS

Hey everyone. Tomorrow morning I will have my IELTS speaking test and the following Saturday, I'll have my IELTS reading, listening and writing tests. It sure is a hectic weekend for me. The overall band that I must achieve is 6.5 but I had promised myself that I want to be better than my sister and she got 6.0 before.

On next Monday, the MCC will have it's official meeting for a few reasons. the upcoming Bangsawan is the main agenda. Other than that, we need to elect the new committee for the Dikir Barat & Traditional Dance Competition 2011. So juniors, be ready to grab this responsibilities.

Unfortunately, Syazwan is still in the same condition although his parents say that he is improving. I'll keep praying for him. Who knows what miracle could happened right. Last but not least;

"Nothing that is so is so, that that is is."

the unexpected...

The mini marathon was successfully organized last Saturday. What makes me proud the most is our house managed to clinch the House with the Healthiest Hearts Award. Furthermore, I also won the King of Health Award for the Daily-Quiz competition. We managed to retain this title for the second year in a row. To make it more meaningful, we created a big difference in the accumulative points from the second place winner.

Sadly, one of my friend doesn't make it to the finishing line as he was attacked by seizure about 200 meters from the finishing line. He was in the top 40 position at that particular time. I'm so proud of him because he is the living proof that hard work can lead to success. 

However, right now he is still in a critical condition in Slim River Hospital. He was admitted to the ICU right after the marathon. It's heartbreaking when someone who is always cheerful and exciting to talk with immobile and silent on a hospital bed. His organs do not functioning anymore and that makes his condition worse.

To all who have time to read this, let us pray for his safety and so that he can come back alive and lively as before.

an apple

It's depressing right now as there is no internet connection at the chalet area. Well, this is not the first time something like this happen. I just hope that it will get better (the usual reason is the upgrading work - hope that it is true). By the way, I got back my application today and I have to make a few small corrections. To apply to top universities, perfection is vital.

I just got back my English Literature result. As expected, it was better than my other subjects. When will I improve my other results? I hope it is now. But I have this 'malicious' quality, laziness. I know it exist in everyone's life but I think I have it worst. Let time cures it then.

This Saturday, there will be a marathon due to the Health Awareness Week (HAW) in my college. I try to take part in the daily quiz competition and it is quite interesting as there are so much general information that I've discovered by joining this quiz. There are so much more to health than exercises and diet. And what is more important, the actual idea of diet itself. It is not about cutting the amount of food consumed but take the correct amount of food with the correct amount of nutritions needed by our bodies.

I sound like a doctor now (lol). Last but not least, eat right and lead a healthy life!

Remember,

"An apple a day, keeps the doctor away."

something...

Bungkam...

Mengapa harus ada cinta

Jika akhirnya menyendiri

Mengapa ada kasih

Jika akhirnya menyisih

Mengapa ada rindu

Jika akhirnya hanyut dalam sendu

Kepiluan yang mencengkam

Dalam ke lubuk hati

Ditinggal dalam kegelapan

Ditelan kabus kepiluan

Hanyut ditelan sejarah silam

Membiarkan aku sendiri

Aku tak mahu terluka

lagi. Takut, aku tak mampu.

Tak mampu menanggung kesedihan

Jika aku ditinggalkan lagi

keseorangan.

Menempuh malam-malam suram

Sendiri...

(Something I wrote during one of my class... lol)

What more to say?

Yup, that's what I'm thinking right now.

"What more to say?"

The semester results.

After not even one week, the results are already here in my hand.

Is this what I want? Can I do better? Do I want to?

Well, as a student that's my responsibility, whether I love it or not.

Yes, I said love. I often heard that we need to love the knowledges before we can fully understand them.

Hopefully I can love it with all my heart before my real exam.

Erase that, I need to love them starting now.

I'll strive for the best because I know, I'm the best!

love

What is love? Is there such thing as true love? Can we be with our beloved for the rest of our lives? These are the questions that have been swimming in my mind for a few days now. As Tong says to Mew in 'The Love of Siam', a movie which has been nominated for the Best Foreign Film in 2008 Oscar Awards,

"I can't be with you as your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you"

Is it true? Can we sacrifice for our loves? Are we willing to put everything aside for the sake of our loves? I seriously don't think that it is necessary. Loving doesn't mean that we have to be with that person 24/7 but at least we should know what happened in their lives. It is that simple. Respect and tolerance; two of the most powerful recipe in a relationship.

There are so many types of love in this life. Familial love, reciprocated love, self love, unconditional love, contract love and so on. But, is it fair for a person to loose someone they loved so much after facing so much obstacles?

In 'Bangkok Love Story', a target fall in love with his supposed-to-be killer (the killer realizes that he is innocent and released him). However, their love does not last long as they had promised. The killer was shot (the use of silencer) while he is holding the target's hand just after the former was released from the prison. After a few lonely years, they finally manage to meet each other again and have the chance to complete their promise.

But no, the lover was killed for his past without having the time to say 'I love you' to his partner. He does not even have time to be 'the eyes for (his partner) forever' as he had promised. And to make it more tragic, the partner is blind. How cruel is that! I'm emotional when I'm writing this because it is unfair! They deserve to be happy after all those terrible years. Just imagine a blind man crying his lungs out beside his dead beloved in the rain. That scene shattered my heart into pieces.

What I can do now is pray. Pray for that special someone to fill my empty heart. Fill the spot left by someone whom I thought is my better half for the rest of my life. I'll just pray for that person to come and rebuild my confidence in relationship.

Is there any true love?

Is there any true lover?

Is there any true happiness?

Is there anything left to love in this world?

Only time will tell and I'll just pray for that moment... till my last breath...

Friendship

"...I had a friend,

Whom I love so much, whom I respect,

But that person is no longer by my side,

Due to our own fault..."

It is heart-rendering when I realize that I no longer have that person by my side, inside my life. This is terrible, we should not let that happened and tear us apart from one another. But I know that this is the best solution. We must not be together anymore though it is killing me when I can see them but I cannot approach them or even say 'Hi' to them.

Oh God, please help me.

Now, the best thing that have ever happened to me also seems to put a distance between us. What did I do wrong? Please tell me so I can correct it. If you have found someone else, tell me! Confront me! Don't let me hang alone in this dark sphere. It is mortifying. One moment you're there and a second later, you're gone. Hopefully this examination week can put away some of my worries aside and help me focus on my study.

UCAS

Well, the deadline is the same as the closing night of MCB. Just after I click the send button, I realize that I have made a few mistakes! I forgot to put in the IELTS part and I wrongly entered my previous school examination code. What a mess.

Thankfully, I still can correct it later (after consulting the university relations department). I really hope that I can secure a place in the university that I have chosen. It is quite a tedious work with the online application and all.

 Heriot Watt, here I come!!!

MCB 2010 - "Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita"

Finally!!!!

The burden was over. MCB had officially closed two days ago and now I'm still tired to death (talk about a living corpse). I'm speechless when my house was announced the 'Rumah Citra Budaya 2010'. That particular announcement really blow up my mind as all our hard work for this whole month paid off. I'm enthralled with the title as we managed to retain the title for the second year in a row. Hopefully, my juniors can retain the title 'again' next year (with hard work off course).

As for my team in Malay Cultural Club, I loved you guys and I really couldn't repay all your contribution to this magnificent 3-day event. Your hard works and dedication in making sure that the planned activities went as smooth as possible really touched my heart. I'm proud to call you guys my team and  my friends. Another thing was, Pn. Halijah was not that disappointed in us as before. I know that there were a few mistakes here and there but for me, you were the best team I can ever asked for.

And for my personal achievement, I managed to win the 'menganyam ketupat' competition along with my pet sister, Nurin. Love you sis. Never thought that you could master the steps in one day! You surprised me there girl. Now that is what I called a cultural family (lol).

Not forgetting, a huge round of applause goes to the other houses as well. Garnet, Sapphire and Diamond. You guys make this event a success with your enthusiastic, glorious and courageous participation. You guys really 'rock' the stage of MCB 2010. Congratulation to all winners and till we met again next year! Break a leg juniors, you guys ROCK!

living......

~ "Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit,

Sometimes I just wanna hide 'coz it's you I miss" ~

Life is full of surprises. One minute, our lives may be on its top while a second later, it will turn upside down. Life is full of unexpected moments. Today, that someone is here comforting us while the next day, he is no longer by our side. Encounters, couples, marriages, separations, deaths, despair and loneliness. All of these will blend together in our lives which then make it 'A Life'.

Someone may say "I don't need anyone to have a happy and interesting life." The truth is, everybody need somebody to make life worth living in and it is also the main source of strength for someone to continue living.

My writing may sounds serious but this is the reality that need to be faced and realized by everybody who plan to live their to the fullest. Opportunity, potential, chance, luck, trust and responsibility mash-up together to test us on our living skills. Thus, we need to try our best and push ourselves to its optimum limit in making sure that we reach our goals successfully.

Hence, never gives up and strive for our best. There is no point, regretting our past. Instead, we should focus on our future so that the best of the best will be ours.

raya time!!!!!!!

Seriously! It's already the end of Ramadhan... Never thought that it will be as fast as this... Wow... Btw, for this year's celebration, I didn't buy a new pair of Baju Melayu as I feel that it's quite wasteful (for me)... But, I do bought 2 new jeans and 2 new shirts (I guess that was wasteful too... lol)... At noon tomorrow, my family and I will go to our hometown, Muar... I just hope that everything went well for our journey tomorrow...

Another thing to be remembered, TRIAL!!! God, what a mess after this holiday... Raya celebration, trial papers, MCB and EWT... A hectic week I'm sure... Well, my ketupat has already been cooked... Now, I just have to wait for tomorrow... Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri...

virtual world VS reality

First and foremost, people's mouth is not the easiest thing to shut.

And it is the most unpredictable medium of 'transportation'. No one can control the other person's tongue (unless it is being cut off). My programme will be conducted after the Raya Holiday which cause me and my committee three hectic weeks.

 My worst fear is that these 'uncontrollable moving media' will cause a stir in our small community in KYUEM. Yeah, that's where I'm studying right now. I really hope that the same thing which happened with our Traditional Dance competition does not repeat itself again this time.

_________________________________

And now, I got a startling news that one of my committee members is actually a spy from a particular house (what the heck!!!!! don't they ever stop ruining other people's lives). This particular revelation makes me lose my trust towards my own friend! Shocking isn't it.

God, I just hope that we can manage this event successfully without causing any 'discomfort' to other people (although the reality is; there will always be a 'person' who does not sit well with others happiness). MCB, here we come!!!

~.~ exam results

there is actually nothing to be said here

i'm just too bored here alone in this chalet

loneliness is just so depressing...

btw, this loneliness reminds me of my freshly announced results

arrgghhhhh..............

there's only one conclusion that can be made from them

study hard for the repeat papers

next semester

oh Allah, please gives me the strength

hye everyone!!!

Finally, i have the guts to create this blog! Well, actually there's nothing much to be wrote in this column but I think that this is the best way for me to express myself. In a way, this blog will features most of my inner feelings and experiences (as if other blogs don't do the same thing - lol). As a beginning, this is the poem that I wrote for my Eng. Literature class. I don't think that it is 'that' good, but each and everyone of us have our own interpretations of life, identity and sense of belonging. Hence, enjoy it...

-Where I Come From-

I create myself, clutching millions of cell

denoted by each fence I meet.

Being the youngest, outspoken

and odd doesn’t help living in this clan.

Art surrounds my whole heart beat eager

to be expressed to the outer world.

There’s no kid born with me in this compound

And I live with those ladies in early life holding

the sign ‘The man in charge’;

jerking me into the world of adults in no time.

No one knows me; I never let any!

Terrified of the truth and denial

when the veils uncovered. Will they?

Word by word those pieces teach me,

world will never accept the real me for me.

Why does it matter? Do they play my play?

I want to be the mountain that stood

his ground. Enchanting the sky; reflected by the soothing sea.

Jolting the memory of sand by my feet.

I knew that day will come where all these miseries

end and then and there;

My last path reveals.