Saturday, October 08, 2011

A New Step

This is what I chose. I am earning my living. It's enough to bother my family again. Now it' time to get anything I want with my bare hands. It's not easy to live like this, but I'll manage it because this is my choice. Gotta go, something important's coming up. Bye.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Black smoke

The sky is clear, for the first time since then,
The earth stood its ground,
The wind filled the empty spaces between them,
Just like how I dreamt it to be
But without one tiny drop;
Me.

Insignificant, intolerable, disposable,
Like a sand by the beach, pulled by the wave,
Isolating... Creating an out of place land
Called island.

Here, with myself, counting the days,
When is it going to end? O please be faster!
I can't wait any longer...
The patch of light is not helpful,
Burning, grilling, toasting,
into ashes.

Blown away by the gentle wind, caressing,
The heart that was once mine,
The limb that was once ours,
The rock that was once a witness,
Salving the red scars with blue droplets
Leaving a vio-let mark covered by the grey dust.

It's my choice, my decision,
An implied action without expression,
Nobody needs the reason.
Thus, the growth means nothing for everything.

It's long forgotten - intentionally.
Why? That's the only way I know how to...
Breath.

Monday, October 03, 2011

Shit!

Can't I fu*king hate this world for making me alive?
I can't coz that means hating my beautiful parents
Can't I fu*king hate the breath that I took every second?
I can't coz that means hating Him
Can't I fu*king hate my surrounding for everything?
I can't coz they've been gracious enough to let me in

Then what fu*king left for me to hate?
Only me, myself and I...

Is this some kind of a fu*king sick joke
played upon my birth
to be curse into this non-acceptance
for every step I take
Am I that filthy that no one can be near me?
Am I that disgusting that no one care for me?
Am I that cheap that no one can be sincere with me?

What're the reasons for my fu*king existence around these people anyway?
I'm just a tool, yes! A TOOL!
A fu*king fool tool that can be threw away whenever and wherever
A foolish bastard that no one deem to know
the mere existence.

How idiotic of me to think that I'll be accepted as I am...
Fu*king pathetic.



p/s: sorry for the harsh words, I just need to let these things out or I'll burst...