Victory and hardship...

We've won the first place for boys volleyball last week. Unfortunately, we failed to repeat the double winning performance like last year as our girls team only manage to sweep the second runner-up placing. But the journey is everything to us and I'm truly excited to know that my house-mates actually know how to play volleyball.

This week, our main target is to clench the first place in Dikir Barat and Traditional Dance which will took place this Wednesday night. I'm so nervous with our dikir performance as right now they still need a lot more practice to perform well. I'm quite confident with our dance team lead by Fathin as I've seen them worse than now and I truly believe that all of them are the best that we can ever ask for. My juniors, congratulations as you guys have shown your full commitment in making this an experience that I will never forget. Best of luck for this Wednesday night and I personally believe you guys can do it. Do this for yourself and not for others and the enjoyment will follow you every step towards victory.

"Those who quit will never know the sweet taste of reaching the end with proud and dignity."

Is it?

I'm so tired these couple of days... I don't know why. Maybe because of lack of sleep, and maybe it is caused by something else. Do I know what is it? No! I can only predict what it is but it may be wrong. A medical check-up might be useful then. Nothing else to write here. Vacant space. Night all...

abstract

Something that can be interpreted in so many ways could be called abstract. Some may find beauty in it, some may found despair while the others; happiness. Some may relate it to themselves while some might take it on the face value. Some may found meaning while the other; emptiness. These are the things that can be questioned and thought by all of us, human beings.

Life is an abstract as we're the brush that whisk through the canvas of life. We're the deciding factor whether life is enjoyable or not. We're the rain that nurture this land of life according to our own imagination and we're the fertilizer that makes this land fertile and luxuriant. But do we realise that all that happened in this world are related directly or indirectly to us? Let us go through some current issues that occur right in front of our eyes.

Global warming. The most hazardous phenomena that caused by human's thirst of development and pride. Do we noticed that every technology in our environment contributes to this man-related destruction? It is true that our scientists are currently trying their best to invent products and other technology that is environmental friendly but what did us, as the consumer do? Do we still use plastic bags? Do we still burnt openly? Do we still throw the rubbish outside the garbage? Yes! We still do this.

Then how are we going to have a happy, cheerful and peace abstract of life if we cannot even conduct these simple things? We claimed that the world is dying but do we help in rejuvenating it? We claimed that the river is polluted but do we help in making it clear? We claimed that the morals of the youngsters are worsening but do we help in bringing them back to the correct path? We claimed the the kids are becoming big-headed but do we help in disciplining them?

Now where do we went wrong. With what ink do we paint our canvas? Is it black, white or rainbow-like colours. All in all, we have the ability to decide what will happened in our lives and what we do today will be reflected in the future. Do we want a clear and happy life? You decide.

Goo bye, Goo bye, Goo bye.

“Someone, please hold me!

I’m falling deeper and deeper into this

Unending bottomless well

I’m cold. I’m freezing. I’m shaking.

Are these the signs that my time is up?

Will it end slowly or abruptly?”

I’m swirling like a tornado in the meadow

Grasping the air that feels nothing.

Am I even supposed to be here?

The lamp whispers to me: “Go away.”

Seductively.

But I’ve already drowned in its glow

That blinded the pair of balls

Permanently.

I’m losing myself again

Just like every other nights before.

Eliot might say that it’s a psychological journey

But I’m wide awake right now!

I can see everything but I saw nothing

Something is happening but what is the thing?

Is it the dried rose that spoke to me now?

“You’ve reach your limit boy.”

Maybe the crinkled petals are true

Maybe it’s time for me to let everything go as

Nature intended it to.

But nature is cruel (Isn’t it?)

Don’t ask me about it; let us make our final visit.

A vast piano is waiting to play a secret melody for me,

The voice that lure me like the mermaid song

Though it was never meant for me.

Finally, something good happened (accidentally)...

The chirping sound jolted me from this

Unending story.

Will it continue or end?

Only time will tell (As if it has a mouth!)

Back to December ~ lol

Hello guys... It has been quite some time since I last post something in this sanctuary. Well, a lot have took place throughout these days. The inter-house volleyball competition (an ongoing matches), my visit (finally) to my brother's house (cute nephew and niece too), the postponed Accounting test (still on hold), Literature's essays and presentation (Austen!!), the election for the new house committee and last but not least the news on house trip and the upcoming Dikir Barat & Traditional Dance 2011.

That's quite some list I might say (sigh). Now, I'm no longer the house secretary and I'm one of the advisory members of MCC (lol). No more events to be organised! What a relief. But still, culture and heritage is in my blood so I'll not hesitate to help as far as I could in any way. I wish that this year we will manage to win back the title for Dikir Barat & Traditional Dance. It is not going to be easy I know but with determination and full commitment, I'm sure that we can do it.

My short weekend trip to my brother's house proves to be beneficial. He's still recovering from his accident a year ago and he has made quite an impressive improvement. I'm so proud to call him my brother! He has also offered me to work with him after I finish my degree. Just a normal office job but it is still a work. Hope I would be a good helper then. He looks normal to me but from what he told me, I wonder why people can be so judgemental and hypocrite to these special people. Yes, they're special! He has to take a bus from his house to go to work even with his current condition. Thus, I put him on top of my idol list (well, maybe after my mom).

Volleyball! One of the sports that I can actually enjoy apart from bowling and netball (no discrimination okay - lol). Topaz have to face two very challenging games against Sapphire and Diamond. Thankfully we won both game, both with the rubber set. It's so tiring but I actually enjoy the games. Both of the teams are very good and they performed their best for their own particular house. Volleyball Rocks!

Studies... I think I have finally gain the momentum for my study session. There're a lot of things happened around me that made me think of myself. Is it worth to spend some time reading through the notes? Is it worth my time to do the exercises? Is it worth my money to study here? The answers are yes to all those questions. I will change my mind set right now so that I'll not regret whatever happened in the future.

I think that will do for now. Next time, I'll try to update the creative section (reminding me of the Yearbook, argghhhh). Take care guys and have a great day!

~Some might told you that you're a loser. Some might told you that you're late. But remember, life is full with miracle. Your life is what you made out of each second you breath. Hence, take the big step now for a big future ahead~

~ Aku Rindu

Aku rindu pada suara itu

Aku rindu pada perbualan itu

Aku rindu pada hubungan itu

Aku rindu saat kita dahulu

Berkongsi dan mengisi tiap-tiap rompong

yang terbit dalam hati yang gersang.

Akankah saat-saat indah itu kembali

mewarnai hidupku kini?

Bisakah aku berserah pada takdir:

Menunggu hingga kau kembali menegur kehadiranku,

Menunggu hingga kau kembali mengasihiku,

Menunggu hingga kau kembali menerimaku;

Selepas segala kesilapan yang tanpa sedar

telah aku lakukan.

Maafkan aku kasih

Kerna aku tidak bisa memutar semula waktu

Membawa kita semula ke taman yang indah

Yang telah kita cipta bersama

Kerna itu juga yang aku damba

Terimalah aku kembali!

Permohonan yang lahir jauh di lubuk sanubariku ini

Agar suatu hari nanti

Kita dapat bersama semula

Meniti ronak ranjau kehidupan

Mencipta rona dunia bercahaya

Khas buat kita berdua...

A happy ending??

This holiday season started with a bad notch for me as I have my second argument with someone. I know part of it is my fault but I have no intention of not contacting you. And now, I need to check my ym 24/7 to search for any signs of forgiveness from you. I'm so sorry but I seriously didn't have time to even take out my laptop from my bag and to update my status last Saturday. I'm so sorry that it upsets you so much and now I beg for your forgiveness.

It's like a living hell here for me to wait and wait for any sign of life from you. And consequently, it reflects my life too. I'm in daze everyday, hoping that one day you will talk to me again. And until that day come, I'll keep on praying that you will forgive me and that I'll have a chance to be in your life again.

Yesterday,

The blackness keeps me alive,

Comforting me like

no other mother could ever did,

Bringing a thousand sense of joy

into my dull life.

But today,

This darkness suffocates me to no end,

This silence is killing me to the bottom

of my white bone,

It is bottomless!

I longed for those laughs and 

I wish I'll hear it again,

Soon...