Tarian Kehidupan

Mata pena ini terus menari

Bertingkah mengikut rentak hancur

Bergerak berlandas angin kelabu

Meliuk dihembus ombak salju

Apakah semua ini butiran yang wujud

Dalam roda hidupku?

Dalam degupan nadiku?

Aku ingin mencari sesuatu yang baru

Di mana aku akan diterima

- bermaknakah penerimaan itu?

Ya, aku hanya mahu hidup tanpa rasa bisa

Ibarat hempedu dipijak, diinjak, dijejak.

Bebas.

Namun, adakah bebas dalam kamus kehidupan?

Bebas total, penuh - menuju kehancuran,

kebinasaan

Aku tidak sanggup lagi untuk hidup

terus dalam gelumang dunia itu

Aku serik? Tidak, aku hanya mahu mencuba

Mencuba suatu yang baru

Yang mungkin bisa menerima aku

Biasakah bisa yang sebati ini dicabut, rentap

dari kalbu hitamku?

Aku berserah setelah segala yang berlaku

Membiar pena ini terus menari

Mencoret masa dan ketika

Hingga sampai saat akhirnya

Aku terhenti...

A New Step

This is what I chose. I am earning my living. It's enough to bother my family again. Now it' time to get anything I want with my bare hands. It's not easy to live like this, but I'll manage it because this is my choice. Gotta go, something important's coming up. Bye.

Black smoke

The sky is clear, for the first time since then,

The earth stood its ground,

The wind filled the empty spaces between them,

Just like how I dreamt it to be

But without one tiny drop;

Me.

Insignificant, intolerable, disposable,

Like a sand by the beach, pulled by the wave,

Isolating... Creating an out of place land

Called island.

Here, with myself, counting the days,

When is it going to end? O please be faster!

I can't wait any longer...

The patch of light is not helpful,

Burning, grilling, toasting,

into ashes.

Blown away by the gentle wind, caressing,

The heart that was once mine,

The limb that was once ours,

The rock that was once a witness,

Salving the red scars with blue droplets

Leaving a vio-let mark covered by the grey dust.

It's my choice, my decision,

An implied action without expression,

Nobody needs the reason.

Thus, the growth means nothing for everything.

It's long forgotten - intentionally.

Why? That's the only way I know how to...

Breath.

Shit!

Can't I fu*king hate this world for making me alive?

I can't coz that means hating my beautiful parents

Can't I fu*king hate the breath that I took every second?

I can't coz that means hating Him

Can't I fu*king hate my surrounding for everything?

I can't coz they've been gracious enough to let me in

Then what fu*king left for me to hate?

Only me, myself and I...

Is this some kind of a fu*king sick joke

played upon my birth

to be curse into this non-acceptance

for every step I take

Am I that filthy that no one can be near me?

Am I that disgusting that no one care for me?

Am I that cheap that no one can be sincere with me?

What're the reasons for my fu*king existence around these people anyway?

I'm just a tool, yes! A TOOL!

A fu*king fool tool that can be threw away whenever and wherever

A foolish bastard that no one deem to know

the mere existence.

How idiotic of me to think that I'll be accepted as I am...

Fu*king pathetic.

p/s: sorry for the harsh words, I just need to let these things out or I'll burst...

What Are Words

Hello guys, it has been a long time since I posted anything in this blog. So here is a song that I've recently found. The words are truly powerful (at least to me). Hope u guys enjoy it. the singer is Chris Medina.

Anywhere you are, I am near

Anywhere you go, I'll be there

Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see

How every single promise I keep

Cuz what kind of guy would I be

If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words

If you really don't mean them

When you say them

What are words

If they're only for good times

Then they don't

When it's love

Yeah, you say them out loud

Those words, They never go away

They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent

just for me And I know I'm meant

to be where I am And I'm gonna be

Standing right beside her tonight

And I'm gonna be by your side

I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words

If you really don't mean them

When you say them

What are words

If they're only for good times

Then they don't

When it's love

Yeah, you say them out loud

Those words, They never go away

They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near

Anywhere you go, I'll be there

And I'm gonna be here forever more

Every single promise I keep

Cuz what kind of guy would I be

If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

bumi asing

tanah ini belum pernah aku jejaki

deruan angin ini belum pernah aku rasai

binaan ini belum pernah aku temui

terasingkah aku?

tidak, semua itu hanya khayalan yang aku cipta

hanya omongan yang aku reka

hanya seruan yang aku suarakan

kerna aku mahu bermula baru

bermula dari titik ini

bermula semula mencari erti diri

mampukah aku temui zarah itu?

kerna yang tinggal kini hanya sebuah

perjalanan...

Titian Hidup

Aku sayang mereka

Aku hargai mereka

Namun aku tidak mengerti bagaimana

Harus aku tunjukkan pada mereka

Setiap detak harapan jauh di lubuk hatiku ini

Adakah ini penyudah kepada semua persoalan

Yangku rasakan tidak mampu untukku tanggung

Yang tak mampuku pikul

Yang tak mampuku gendong

Perlukah aku mencari semua titik-titik

Penyambung kehidupan ini

Atau haruskah aku berserah pada takdir

Dan membiarnya hanyut bersama duniaku

Ini bukan dunia aku!

Ini bukan udara aku,

Ini bukan nyawa aku!

Ini bukan pilihan aku

Kerna semua ini tanggungjawabku...

Amanah yang tak mungkin terpikulkan

Amanah yang tidak dapat disempurnakan

Amanah yang pasti dipersoalkan

Di suatu dunia baru asli

Satu hari nanti.

Aku merintih, aku meratap,

Aku mengharapkan kesudahan yang baik

Namunku tak pasti adakah ia milikku

Kerna aku sedar siapa aku

Kerna aku ingat segala tingkahku

Kerna aku faham balasan buatku

Mereka bilang aku sombong

Bongkak, lalai denagn nikmat dunia

Tapi aku harap, semua ini tak akan memesongkan aku

Dari laluan Mustaqim

Ku harapkan bimbingan-Mu

Buat terakhir kali...

Asyhadu Allailahaillallah, Waasyhaduanna Muhammadurrasulullah

Allahuakhbar.

p/: Kesedihan membelenggu namun hidup harus terus maju. Akankah tiba ruang yang amat kudambakan itu?

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah aku...