What more to say?

Yup, that's what I'm thinking right now.

"What more to say?"

The semester results.

After not even one week, the results are already here in my hand.

Is this what I want? Can I do better? Do I want to?

Well, as a student that's my responsibility, whether I love it or not.

Yes, I said love. I often heard that we need to love the knowledges before we can fully understand them.

Hopefully I can love it with all my heart before my real exam.

Erase that, I need to love them starting now.

I'll strive for the best because I know, I'm the best!

love

What is love? Is there such thing as true love? Can we be with our beloved for the rest of our lives? These are the questions that have been swimming in my mind for a few days now. As Tong says to Mew in 'The Love of Siam', a movie which has been nominated for the Best Foreign Film in 2008 Oscar Awards,

"I can't be with you as your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you"

Is it true? Can we sacrifice for our loves? Are we willing to put everything aside for the sake of our loves? I seriously don't think that it is necessary. Loving doesn't mean that we have to be with that person 24/7 but at least we should know what happened in their lives. It is that simple. Respect and tolerance; two of the most powerful recipe in a relationship.

There are so many types of love in this life. Familial love, reciprocated love, self love, unconditional love, contract love and so on. But, is it fair for a person to loose someone they loved so much after facing so much obstacles?

In 'Bangkok Love Story', a target fall in love with his supposed-to-be killer (the killer realizes that he is innocent and released him). However, their love does not last long as they had promised. The killer was shot (the use of silencer) while he is holding the target's hand just after the former was released from the prison. After a few lonely years, they finally manage to meet each other again and have the chance to complete their promise.

But no, the lover was killed for his past without having the time to say 'I love you' to his partner. He does not even have time to be 'the eyes for (his partner) forever' as he had promised. And to make it more tragic, the partner is blind. How cruel is that! I'm emotional when I'm writing this because it is unfair! They deserve to be happy after all those terrible years. Just imagine a blind man crying his lungs out beside his dead beloved in the rain. That scene shattered my heart into pieces.

What I can do now is pray. Pray for that special someone to fill my empty heart. Fill the spot left by someone whom I thought is my better half for the rest of my life. I'll just pray for that person to come and rebuild my confidence in relationship.

Is there any true love?

Is there any true lover?

Is there any true happiness?

Is there anything left to love in this world?

Only time will tell and I'll just pray for that moment... till my last breath...

Friendship

"...I had a friend,

Whom I love so much, whom I respect,

But that person is no longer by my side,

Due to our own fault..."

It is heart-rendering when I realize that I no longer have that person by my side, inside my life. This is terrible, we should not let that happened and tear us apart from one another. But I know that this is the best solution. We must not be together anymore though it is killing me when I can see them but I cannot approach them or even say 'Hi' to them.

Oh God, please help me.

Now, the best thing that have ever happened to me also seems to put a distance between us. What did I do wrong? Please tell me so I can correct it. If you have found someone else, tell me! Confront me! Don't let me hang alone in this dark sphere. It is mortifying. One moment you're there and a second later, you're gone. Hopefully this examination week can put away some of my worries aside and help me focus on my study.

UCAS

Well, the deadline is the same as the closing night of MCB. Just after I click the send button, I realize that I have made a few mistakes! I forgot to put in the IELTS part and I wrongly entered my previous school examination code. What a mess.

Thankfully, I still can correct it later (after consulting the university relations department). I really hope that I can secure a place in the university that I have chosen. It is quite a tedious work with the online application and all.

 Heriot Watt, here I come!!!

MCB 2010 - "Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita"

Finally!!!!

The burden was over. MCB had officially closed two days ago and now I'm still tired to death (talk about a living corpse). I'm speechless when my house was announced the 'Rumah Citra Budaya 2010'. That particular announcement really blow up my mind as all our hard work for this whole month paid off. I'm enthralled with the title as we managed to retain the title for the second year in a row. Hopefully, my juniors can retain the title 'again' next year (with hard work off course).

As for my team in Malay Cultural Club, I loved you guys and I really couldn't repay all your contribution to this magnificent 3-day event. Your hard works and dedication in making sure that the planned activities went as smooth as possible really touched my heart. I'm proud to call you guys my team and  my friends. Another thing was, Pn. Halijah was not that disappointed in us as before. I know that there were a few mistakes here and there but for me, you were the best team I can ever asked for.

And for my personal achievement, I managed to win the 'menganyam ketupat' competition along with my pet sister, Nurin. Love you sis. Never thought that you could master the steps in one day! You surprised me there girl. Now that is what I called a cultural family (lol).

Not forgetting, a huge round of applause goes to the other houses as well. Garnet, Sapphire and Diamond. You guys make this event a success with your enthusiastic, glorious and courageous participation. You guys really 'rock' the stage of MCB 2010. Congratulation to all winners and till we met again next year! Break a leg juniors, you guys ROCK!

living......

~ "Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit,

Sometimes I just wanna hide 'coz it's you I miss" ~

Life is full of surprises. One minute, our lives may be on its top while a second later, it will turn upside down. Life is full of unexpected moments. Today, that someone is here comforting us while the next day, he is no longer by our side. Encounters, couples, marriages, separations, deaths, despair and loneliness. All of these will blend together in our lives which then make it 'A Life'.

Someone may say "I don't need anyone to have a happy and interesting life." The truth is, everybody need somebody to make life worth living in and it is also the main source of strength for someone to continue living.

My writing may sounds serious but this is the reality that need to be faced and realized by everybody who plan to live their to the fullest. Opportunity, potential, chance, luck, trust and responsibility mash-up together to test us on our living skills. Thus, we need to try our best and push ourselves to its optimum limit in making sure that we reach our goals successfully.

Hence, never gives up and strive for our best. There is no point, regretting our past. Instead, we should focus on our future so that the best of the best will be ours.

raya time!!!!!!!

Seriously! It's already the end of Ramadhan... Never thought that it will be as fast as this... Wow... Btw, for this year's celebration, I didn't buy a new pair of Baju Melayu as I feel that it's quite wasteful (for me)... But, I do bought 2 new jeans and 2 new shirts (I guess that was wasteful too... lol)... At noon tomorrow, my family and I will go to our hometown, Muar... I just hope that everything went well for our journey tomorrow...

Another thing to be remembered, TRIAL!!! God, what a mess after this holiday... Raya celebration, trial papers, MCB and EWT... A hectic week I'm sure... Well, my ketupat has already been cooked... Now, I just have to wait for tomorrow... Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri...